I am feeling a bit cynical this evening, pumpkins, and for that, I apologize; I think that my internal struggle with cynicism may have influenced this week's intellectual proposition. I shall let you be the judge, however, as to whether or not this was a good or a bad thing.
As many of you know, and if you didn't you do now, I am not that into people. There are a select few I would ever willingly share time with, and more often than not, it shows. Now, before I go any further, I feel it pertinent to actually define what I mean when I say "people." So, here it goes, for lack of a more...academic definition: PEOPLE: Individuals who are not kids or animals, mostly over the age of 25 and under the age of 80.
And there you have it--the definition of people in the world of Cassie Bunje.
This rather pessimistic and certainly asocial view of the human race is not something with which I was born, however, I feel that it began cultivating itself at a rather young age. My childhood was not one to be looked back upon wistfully, and it didn't really get much better as I grew into young adulthood. This was due, almost entirely, to my interactions with and observations of, you guessed it--people. In fact, until I became a teacher, I held out very little hope that I would ever be able to gaze upon the face of another human being without a hint of scorn, mistrust or distaste. True story. Truth be told, and this is not me being dramatic at all--you could probably accurately say that teaching saved my soul. More on that later.
So, in my reading today, I happened upon an interesting quote. I would like you to read and reflect on this quote and tell me what you come up with in terms of whether or not you agree with what it says, and what it even means. As always, qualify your answer with an anecdote of personal experience to help illustrate the point you are making.
Here it is:
"Niceness is a decision. It is a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait."
Have fun, poppets...
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I really wouldn’t say I agree with that. I agree with some of it. Yes Niceness is a decision and Meanness is too (if that is a word). I don’t think it is a social interaction only because no one wants to be mean all the time. When people do act mean it’s probably because something happened to them. They say “Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent is how you react to it. Anyway how you act is a decision it is not a trait.
ReplyDeleteAfter looking at this quote it had me thinking. First I like to say is “first on comments” but besides that being nice is a decision. Let us just say in you are in kindergarten meeting new people and you have you do not have that ability to judge someone as you do now. Throughout your high school career you gain the ability to tell peoples personality but at the beginning you parents tell you to nice to people you meet. This is your “default” and it stays with you, though some people disregard their “default” and moving on in life a majority do not. Growing up peoples true colors become clear and the default you were given has been abandon to the far regions of your mind. Then when we become more familiar with peoples personality but still have a bit of the default left to not let on that we do not want them. This is where the interaction comes into play with our “defaults” still in effect the interaction becomes more decisive. From moving to groups on where we belong to groups that have nothing to do with you. Your “default” will give you an inside look on what to do in certain situations. Peer pressure within the groups tends to strengthen or weaken your “default”. In the end niceness is not a character trait but just a setting to our own neanderthal experience.
ReplyDeletek i agree with this blog because people between that age i feel are so serious and dont look to have fun or share feelings. but the few that do i also have more respect and try too have conversations with. but when it comes down to it yes kids share feelings and emotions and i respect that cause they dont care about bills they care about school and fun and im more likely too have a convertion with them more then i would a 28 that is working.
ReplyDeleteI really might have to use that.
ReplyDeleteThe part about strategy makes alot of sense to me because ive been using niceness as a weapon for years. To avoid drama, niceness is the key.
If theres one thing i cant stand is vicious females. Girls who enjoy putting others beneath them, verbally tearing them apart, flip-floping females, they make me crazy.
Even now, this school year im dealing with a girl who gets a kick out of talking abt me viciously to all of my friends, but wen i come to class, she never has a word to say to me.
I could get on her level and viciously attack her behind her back, but i dont like the feeling i get from behaving that way.
So yea...ive decided to be nice.
I do disagree with that last part tho, i kno alot of pple who are nice all the time, an i joke with them alot, cuz they fill my quota on how many nice pple can be in my life at a time.
I would have to say that i agree with the " niceness is a decision" but on the flipside, i disagree with the statement "its not a trait". Why do i disagree? You may be asking your self this question. I disagree because (scenario) what if a child was raised in a house of pure niceness, the child would not be able to decide between being mean and being nice because all he/she would know is niceness. Therefore in this scenario it would not be a decision it would be a character trait. Now on the other hand as you begin to get older and have experienced nice people and mean people, you understand what and how both of the actions affect people. So this is now where you can say its a decision, because you can wake up in the morning and decide if you want to be the niceness person in the world, or just a mean person. Thats all up to you. Personally for me niceness would be a decision i make. I dont like to be mean but if i have to because of the situation then that would be a decision that i would make. Thats all folks. Signing off!!
ReplyDeleteNiceness is usually how people are to other people. People hide their feelings toward peope most of them time. For eample, wallking the hallways of Oakcrest you hear people talking S#!@ on each other all the time and then the next week they are best friends. Most of the time people are nice unless their is a reason to be. Peoples true feelings come out when they dont like someone.
ReplyDeleteNiceness is a decision. It is a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait."
ReplyDeleteI believe this is true . I feel like being nice is a choice just interaction ... You pick it up somewhere its not really installed in you . Example Im feeling pretty mad righr now therefore im choosing not to be nice . You just half to learn and when you do you can be in a social interaction with people in thar same character trait .
"Niceness is a decision. It is a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait." People choose to be nice. They don't just happen to be nice. Alot of people aren't nice at all yea they could be in a bad mood but that shouldn't be a reason to not be nice, but the people that are nice most of the time happen to be a great person and they make you happy too.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read the quote, I thought I'd have a rough time deciding whether I agree or disagree with it. But after reading it a couple times I’ve learned to comprehend it. I agree with it 50 percent. I agree with the half that “Niceness is a decision. It is a strategy of social interaction.” When I meet someone I quickly know if I’m going to be nice to that person, or mean and hostile. I have my moments where I can be nice, but it all depends on how someone approaches me. Some people can take the meanness out in all of us, if you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteI was minding my own business and this kid comes out of nowhere and pokes me, just pokes me, and runs off. I would of ignored it if it was a child who doesn’t know any better, but no it was a High School student who by now should be more mature than that. I did not know him, so it annoyed me, and I gave him one of those if-looks-killed look. He now depicts me as this mean b****, but if you’d ask anyone they would beg to differ.
I disagree with the last part of the quote “…it is not a character trait.” because some people were just born to be nice. I’ve noticed that it’s usually the outcasts the ones not “socially accepted” are the people who are the nicest, and only nice. Therefore, because of those people niceness can become a character trait.
Niceness should come natural to people and if it can't you had to or been hurt so many times you can't even be nice to anyone because you feel like everyone will hurt you so you push them all away and if this is true for you everyone needs someone in life you can't live life alone even if you only have one person that's all you need.
ReplyDelete